'I can’t legally keep her, but she clearly doesn’t want to be at her actual home': Renters can't keep the cat, but she keeps choosing them and they don't know how to say goodbye

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Jul 11, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

This whiskered wanderer started as a skittish visitor, hissing from afar and vanishing for weeks at a time. But over the past couple of months, she's gone from cautious guest to full-time purrsistor. Rain-soaked paws and early-morning meows turned into long naps and heart-melting cuddles. Despite gentle efforts to encourage her to return to her original humans, she keeps choosing the place where she feels safe, warm, and wanted.

Her official pawrents? Barely batted an eye. No missing posters, no concerned knocks, just a casual "Oh yeah, that's our cat!" and a laugh about her new feeding spot. They didn't even know her name. One might say this kitty has been emotionally abandoned without the paperwork.

Now, the human who's been unintentionally adopted is stuck between a cat and a hard place. Rental rules forbid pets, but the guilt of turning away a feline who's clearly chosen her new family is crushing. She's underweight, underloved, and over the old home. And she's not going back without a fight… or a nap first.

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  • 01
    'She saw them, doors open, but still chose to follow me back'
    via elko from Pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    About two years ago, a neighbor's cat showed up at our house - maybe five times total over that whole period. She was skittish, hissed and growled if we got too close, so we left her alone. She looked a bit underweight but didn't seem in immediate distress.
    via rissy_00
  • 03
    Then, a couple of months ago, she started showing up regularly. First on our deck, then she slowly warmed up to us. One day she spent the whole day inside, and the next day she was back again, still with no signs of going home - or being fed. Concerned she might be a stray, we gave her a small portion of wet food. She obviously came back wanting more, but we held back, unsure what to do.
    via rissy_00
  • 04
    She kept returning, meowing at our glass door early in the morning, cold, soaked from the dew, with freezing little paws, just begging to be let in. Once inside, she'd curl up in the coziest spot and stay there for hours. We then posted her photo in the neighborhood Facebook group & had no replies for 10 days. So, we let her come and go through the cat door while we kept trying to figure out if she had a home.
    via rissy_00
  • 05
    We eventually went door- knocking and found her owners about four houses away. The man said, "Oh yeah, that's our cat!" but didn't seem to care much. He didn't know her name (but his wife did, which is at least a good sign), they think she's about 6-7,
    via rissy_00
  • 06
    but weren't bothered that she hadn't been home in over a week. He even laughed and said, "Is she eating all your food?" After this, his wife later commented on our Facebook post, saying the cat is "very loved" - but never really interacted again despite the fact that their cat stopped going home for days in a row. Not even to ask if she was at our place or anything, just ok with the fact that her cat went full on 'missing'.
    via rissy_00
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10528622848
    via Africa images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    My rental doesn't allow pets. So I've been trying to gently wean her off us, pushing her to go home at night. But she refuses. She'll sleep in the freezing garden rather than return home. I even (literally) walked her back once when her family was outside. She saw them, doors open, but still chose to follow me back. They didn't greet her or interact with either of us.
    via rissy_00
  • 09
    I feel trapped. I can't legally keep her, but she clearly doesn't want to be at her actual home. It breaks my heart every time I turn her away or deny her food in hopes she'll go back to her home. I know her owners have cat food, and I suspect the noise from their four kids might be part of why she avoids the place. She still looks underweight (probably between 3-3.5kg)
    via rissy_00
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10528623104
    via Nils Jacobi / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    Has anyone dealt with this kind of situation? How do I kindly encourage this cat to return home when she's decided we're her chosen family? Any advice would be hugely appreciated. Talking to the neighbors again won't help; they've made it clear she's an outdoor cat and don't seem too bothered by where she goes or if she eats. So what I
    via rissy_00
  • 12
    really need is advice on how to gently reset things and get her to go back to her old routine before she got attached to us. I just want to break the cycle without breaking her heart (or mine).
    via rissy_00
  • 13
    Aggressive_Hat_9... Honestly, I would just keep the cat, keep caring for it. and when your landlord comes ask, tell them its yours neighbours cat that insists on invading your home 9)
    via Aggressive_Hat_9999

  • If she’s “just visiting,” then technically she’s not yours. That might help keep things peaceful with the landlord. A purring guest, not a permanent resident… at least on paper!

  • 14
    SeorniaGrim Honestly, I would keep the cat or find it a better home. The 'owners' obviously don't care about her, and any cat left outside all of the time and staying in random homes isn't really owned IMO (though that is a controversial topic lol). There were two strays who came to my last place constantly. 1 male, 1 female.
    via SeorniaGrim
  • 15
    I posted about them because we were thinking of taking them both when we moved. The female was claimed; the male wasn't. She was always sleeping on our porch and was warming up to come inside (was extremely skittish), so we set up a home on our porch for her with a heating pad because it was literally freezing out. To this day I
    via SeorniaGrim
  • 16
    wish we had just taken her too. The male on the other hand is 14 now, loving his (indoor and catio only) sunbeams in the summers and heated beds in the winter. If nothing else, call animal control (or equivalent). Most places in the US have leash laws, even for cats.
    via SeorniaGrim
  • 17
    Embarrassed_Wra... It's your cat now, not "officially" but definitely. As long as the neighbors acknowledge that it's their cat and you stick by the "it's just visiting" phrase, you should be ok. They sound like crappy people who don't deserve the privilege of having a cat.
    via Embarrassed_Wrap8421
  • 18
    Ok-Lychee1338 This might not be helpful since it isn't advice on getting the cat to leave, but if your house already has a cat door it might be worth to ask the landlord if you could keep a cat in the house? She seems to have chosen you already. I hope it all goes well for you!
    via Ok-Lychee1338

  • There’s no harm in asking. The worst that can happen is they say no, which leaves everything just as it is. Definitely worth a try with no risk involved! 

  • 19
    hereFOURallTHEtea That cat chose you. She is yours now. Try to find a way to keep her. Idk where you are located but know that would help.
    via hereFOURallTHEtea

  • You can’t argue with the cats. Their choice is final. When a kitty picks you, it’s a sign that you’re their forever human, no matter what the paperwork says! 

  • 20
    Lifelace My neighbors cat adopted us. For two years this cat would just go back and forth. We love cats and we were happy. Neighbors ended up selling their house and asked us if we wanted the cat. It was a big yes. This cat knew the neighborhood and neighbors knew this cat. The
    via Lifelace
  • 21
    new owners were shocked when this cat would appear in their house. Their dog and their own cats were not happy and the cat knew our home was it's home and we are one happy cat family.
    via Lifelace
  • 22
    The cat distributions works in mysterious ways. I would let the cat visit. You do not have a cat and you are not breaking any lease for the neighborhood cat visiting. You get the best of both worlds!!!
    via Lifelace
  • 23
    boujeeeeeeeee If you dont or can't keep the cat I would find it a home where it's not left outside all the time. That's not safe and if the owners come asking just say you haven't seen it. They should've been more responsible
    via boujeeeeeeeee
  • 24
    Seaponi I'm not sure how anyone can claim to own a completely outdoor cat. Especially if multiple neighbors feed her. She chose you. Congrats!
    via Seaponi

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pets outside adopted cat owners pawrents Cats stray rescue
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